Will I be a better parent?

My family. We have lots of problems. Brother refuses to talk to sister (me). Daughter (me) can’t handle a sentence-long convo with dad.

I don’t know what has come of it. I’ve always blamed my mom for her ill parenting skill. I’ve always looked down on my dad for his naive and blind trust. B

But wasn’t I also to be blame for? What if I were a lil more tactful on my brother when he was younger? What if I were a lil more patient and understanding to my dad? Hasn’t he always been patient to us until now which even irritates us than comforts?

I knew I hurt my brother and still hurt my dad today. I can’t turn back time to undone what I’d done but I fail my dad until today which I can’t forgive myself. What should I do? How do I stop looking down on my old man? Deep down I knew he led a successful life. He made a decent fortune, had a nice car and sent his two kids to Japan and the US to study. He even oriented all his nieces and nephews to directions.

All these make me doubt myself even more. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.. Will I be a better parent than my folks while blaming them for all sorts of things? I doubt that I could even afford my kids to good schools like my parents did to us. I doubt that I could even feed them properly and make them feel financially safe.

I’m scared you know. The sort of person who maltreat her parents will not end up anywhere good

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